I don’t generally believe in New Year’s resolutions, but this year I have two.

1: Be more patient with M

C’s non-autistic twin, M, is what you’d call a Big Personality Kid—he can take over a room with his presence. And yet, through all the tumult of our lives, all the health and developmental issues, I’ve expected this little boy to toe the line, to make life easy—to avoid adding to the chaos. That’s unfair to any kid, let alone one who’s gone through as much as he has.

2: Take care of my health

I haven’t had a physical in four years. I haven’t had a real feet-up vacation in about a decade. That’s nonsense. It’s not good for me, and it’s not good for my family. First, I’m going to make an appointment with my GP. Second, I’m making a three-year plan: there will be a Real Vacation by 2019 come hell or high water. Or both.

So, what are your resolutions?